When it comes to raising children, setting limits is of great importance. Do not underestimate providing structure and consistency on a daily basis. Structure can be implemented by setting appropriate boundaries with kids and having consequences ready when they push past those boundaries. Because most will push back.
Consistency can be challenging for some adults. The key is to not give in to difficult behaviors. If you find yourself doing this often, you may benefit from talking to someone about how to improve in this area in order to help your child.
If your child lives in different homes at different times, it is best for all of their caregivers to set limits using the same boundaries and consequences at all houses. Ideally, all of your child’s caregivers would respond the same way when it comes to teaching your child what is acceptable behavior and what is not.
Setting limits with children is necessary to teach them acceptable behaviors. If I am working with a child in the play therapy room, I use the ACT model of setting limits. A stands for Acknowledge the child’s feeling. C stands for Communicate the limit, and T stands for Target the alternatives. If I had a child trying to hit me, I would think ACT and say something like ‘I can tell you are angry (acknowledge the feeling) but I am not for hitting (communicate the limit). You can hit the bag or the pillow (target the alternative).’ Our goal isn’t to stop the behavior, instead we want to allow it (if it’s not harmful to self, others or property) in an appropriate way.
